


Wishful thinking (isn't good science)

by Blizzaurus



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Pining, and a little bit angst, diverges from canon for kissing purposes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 03:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10527666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blizzaurus/pseuds/Blizzaurus
Summary: Set right after 3x06. Marcus could not stop thinking about that cheek kiss. And then he found himself behind Abby's door in the middle of the night.Pike wasn't very surprised by the outcome.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For important, plot-related reasons there is a heat wave going on. Enjoy!

Marcus couldn't sleep.

This was no surprise for him, his mind was still preoccupied with Jaha, Pike and Bellamy. The constantly shifting weather conditions were also a factor. A heat wave had tormented the camp the last few nights and Marcus hardly remembered what it was like to lie in bed without his shirt sticking to the skin.

But now one more troubling memory had taken residence in his head and prevented him from falling asleep — the memory of Abby's lips. The feeling of them on Marcus's skin, to be exact. Marcus could still feel the faint, tingly sensation. He propped himself up from the bed, absent-mindedly brushing his cheek.

He got up to his feet and immediately regretted it. The lack of sleep was making his head feel light. His stomach churned uncomfortably with each step. He wondered if there was another hidden source for his symptoms besides stress. Marcus snatched his hand away, realizing it was again seeking the same spot where Abby's soft lips had landed.

He marched to the small sink of his room and set the tap running. _I’m a grown man_ , Marcus thought while glaring at his reflection in the mirror. He had no time or even the right to act like a teenager with a crush.

His thoughts about Abby had been in complete disarray since his quick retreat to the med bay earlier in the day.

Nobody could fault him for seeking the company of a woman who had been on Marcus's side this whole time. Marcus respected her advice more than anyone else's. So he could pay her a friendly visit every now and then, especially now when he had been relieved from his duty. She was hard to avoid when the mere sight of her was like a gulp of cool water in a scorching hot desert.

After Jackson had been sent away Marcus had started to open up as always. And Abby had listened to him and consoled him as always. But something had changed when Marcus expressed his worry over Bellamy. Something new had flickered in her eyes. And the next thing Marcus had realized was that Abby was leaning over. His mind had gone immediately blank. He had only been able to feel Abby's hand tenderly resting on her neck and her kiss, her quick but soft kiss on his cheek.

"What was that?" he had asked, his brow creased, barely having processed himself exactly what had just happened. Then a corner of his mouth had tugged an almost imperceptible amount upwards. It had taken a while to regain the control of his face but eventually he had succeeded in hiding his weak smile.

"Let's call it hope,” Abby had said after some deliberation. Of course. That's what they needed during these dark times. Always so optimistic Abby had expressed this with her kind gesture.

Although that kind of logical analysis of the situation had hardly been the thing running in his brain at the moment. His head had been full of pleasant fog. His skin had been still burning from the impact of Abby's lips and his treacherous eyes had been wandering back to the area of her mouth.

When he had finally snapped back to his senses he had seen Abby smiling a mysterious smile at him and he had realized this was far too overwhelming for him to deal with in that moment.

“I need to go," he had said and jumped upright. "I need to keep an eye on Pike," he had explained.

Abby had nodded. And so he had left, without uttering another word for the fear of betraying his confusing emotional state.

He had to have looked completely over the moon, waltzing back because it hadn't taken long for one of Pike's minions to start tailing him. Little had that spy known, Marcus hadn't actually gotten a rush of excitement from plotting against their chancellor, but from a beautiful woman's attention.

He grimaced at the memory. What foolish dreams had he harbored then.

If he could stop thinking about the incident, he could focus on more pressing matters, like their actual survival during Pike's reign. Or sleep. But no, his mind kept mulling over Abby's words again and again: "Let's call it hope."

Marcus was sure Abby would have never touched him in such a way if she had known the depth of his feelings towards her. Because those four words had given him hope in a whole other area too.

The truth was that Marcus had fallen in love with her. It was nothing he could have stopped as it was happening. In reality, it had crept on him like a thief in the night. One day, just one ordinary day he had looked at Abby, rushing from one duty to another, and he was struck by how utterly and irreversibly enamored he was.

Since this painful realization, he'd been either actively trying to suffocate his feelings or meticulously analyzing every single interaction in a vain search for hope.

There had been other moments. Tiny glances, smiles and brushes of fingers that were all mapped in Marcus's brain in chronological order. But what truly tortured him the most was that he had no way of knowing if the cheek kiss was just as innocent as the other affection Abby had bestowed upon him. Or if she had tried to imply that she reciprocated even the tiniest fraction of Marcus's feelings. Of which she shouldn't know about, Marcus had been careful about that.

Marcus splashed water on his face. He watched from the mirror as the droplets trickled down his face and disappeared into his bread. Dark patches under his eyes suggested going back to bed. But that was never going to happen as long as that one scene was playing in his head over and over again like a broken tape.

An idea wormed its way into his sleep-deprived mind. He should go and confront Abby. He entertained the thought of marching to her quarters, banging her door and demanding answers. He imagined himself grabbing her, tangling his fingers in her hair and kissing her, hard. No need to form his difficult feeling into words. What an alluring fantasy, except maybe for the part where a painful slap landed on his cheek for such audacity.

But just seeing Abby could potentially bring peace to his mind. He found himself quietly leaving his quarters treading the familiar route to Abby's quarters. Right outside of her door, his fist in the air ready to knock, Marcus woke from his trance and realized what he was doing.

 _What was I thinking?_ Marcus internally groaned. Abby was probably sound asleep. It was already hard enough to make sure that Abby took care of herself, and now Marcus wanted to disturb her peaceful slumber.

A horrifying realization struck him. It was, after all, the middle of the night. And Marcus was outside of her door, like a dog begging for scraps. It would be so easy to misunderstand his intentions. Abby would surely think he read too much into the earlier situation and that he now had foolish new thoughts about the state of their relationship. Rejection would be quick and cold. Or worse, Abby would laugh. What was Marcus imagining, as if something would truly blossom between them even after all that he had done?

Marcus decided retreat as swiftly as possible. But the universe clearly had something against him.

He stepped on the stone Abby kept as a door stopper. And backwards he swayed. After a futile attempt to steady himself on the wall, he slammed his back on Abby's door. A sickening bang followed. There's no way Abby didn't wake up from that sound.

Cursing under his breath, Marcus found his footing and considered his options. The most tempting one was to dart away and let Abby think some kids drunk from moonshine stumbled in the hallway. He could save his dignity and make up for this later, perhaps with some chocolate he had salvaged from Mount Weather.

But before he could take one step, a faint voice behind the door was audible: "Marcus?"

_How did she know it was him?_

Marcus pinched his eyes shut, wishing the ground would swallow him. He had no choice but to apologize and make up some excuse. If he could just think of one.

But his whole mind was bleached blank when Abby opened her door. Marcus had completely forgotten about the heat wave, which had apparently taken its toll on her too. Abby was wearing only a slightly too big T-shirt. Marcus tried to avert his eyes but it was too late. The image of Abby's endless legs were already saved and archived into the deepest corners of his mind for reviewing purposes in the most inappropriate moments.

Marcus gathered all of his willpower to direct his gaze to her face. But that's all he seemed to be able to do because his tongue was dried to the floor of his mouth. For a while he could only stare at Abby, breathing heavily.

Abby tried to tug the hem of her shirt lower, but in vain. All this skin Marcus had never seen before was now impossible to cover up and erase from his mind.

"Abby,” he just exhaled. Like a complete idiot.

"What are you doing here?" Abby asked, her cheeks growing in coloring under Marcus’s gaze. His previous fantasy came back to him and he couldn’t suddenly meet her eyes. Coming here was definitely a mistake.

His vocal abilities were slowly coming back. Marcus cleared his throat.

“Um, I just wanted— ah,” he stammered. “Never mind. I’m so sorry for waking you up. I’m an idiot and I promise to make this up for you.”

He took a step back, formulating an escape route in his head.

“Not so fast, Marcus.” Abby crossed her arms. “You didn’t wake me up. The heat is insufferable, I was already up. And I can see something is clearly bothering you. I won’t let you go before you tell me what it is.”

Marcus tried pull himself together. He could still preserve his dignity.

“Quite frankly, I just wanted to come and thank you for what you said earlier. That really meant _a lot_ to me.” He blinked and closed his mouth quickly.

“And you decided to tell me this now?” Abby asked, her eyes twinkling.

Marcus opened his mouth to offer his carefully planned, justified reason for this late night visit. Nothing came out.

At least Abby was smiling now. Her bewitching smile threatened to infect Marcus too, as he noticed the corners of his mouth twitching slightly. “I couldn’t sleep”, he admitted, giving a nervous laugh. He had finally realized how utterly comical the situation is.

“Then we have something in common,” Abby said. “Come in so we can talk without being overheard. This place must be swarming with Pike’s underlings, even in the middle of the night.”

Marcus hesitated. He had been to her room many times, even late at night. But this time he was painfully aware of his feelings towards her. It was wrong to invade her private quarters, when he had ulterior motives this time, even if he was never going to act out on them. But Abby had already disappeared through her door, expecting him to follow her suit. And so he had no choice but to cross the threshold into a terrifying, unexplored territory.

He stepped into her small room. After giving up her Chancellor’s residence for Pike she had to quickly move all her belongings to new cramped quarters. There was not much furniture, her few things were scattered haphazardly in piles on her only tiny table or in boxes laying on the floor. Marcus’s eyes fell on her bed. The sheets looked rumpled and the covers had been thrown away, all the evidence pointing to a restless night. There was a heap of clothes fallen out of a box right under the bed. It looked like someone had rummaged through it in a rush to get something to wear. His breath caught in his throat when he realized that Abby most probably had slept naked. Marcus turned his head to avoid picturing her in her bed and discovered Abby closing the door with a click. Marcus gulped.

Abby leaned against the door, meeting Marcus’s eyes for a brief second and then glancing away. He could swear she had suddenly grown nervous. Marcus detected her biting her lower lip and froze.

“Sorry being being such a mess,” she said, running her fingers through her hair. Illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the blinds, she looked lovelier than ever with her bed head.

“No, you look— fine,” he said, barely processing the words before they were out of his mouth.

“I was talking about the state of my room,” she said.

“Ah.”

The following silence was crushing.

Marcus desperately wanted to kick the part of himself that thought getting out of bed was a good idea.

“Moonshine?” Abby suggested and broke the tension.

“Moonshine? Where have you got that from?” Marcus knitted his brows.

“There has been a lot of extra bottles floating around since Pike’s election. And I might have confiscated some.” Abby met his eyes and chuckled. “Don’t look at me like that. God knows we need all the alcohol we can get.”

She walked over to her cupboard, bent over and started seeking something from one of the boxes. Marcus snapped his head away after seeing the hem of her shirt rising up her thigh. This night was going to be pure hell.

After a moment he found himself sitting on Abby’s bed, a cup of Moonshine in his clammy hands. Abby was sitting next to him, her bare legs crossed in front of her.

“Is this about Charles?”

"Huh?"

"The reason you came to me?"

"Partly," Marcus said and took a big gulp of moonshine. Warmth spread through his veins, easing his tenseness and making it more tolerable to be so close to half-naked Abby.

Abby's eyebrow shot up in amusement. "That bad?"

"I can see it in his eyes. He wholeheartedly believes he is doing the right thing. And I have no idea how to stop him. Thanks to Octavia we managed to slow him down but I fear it's only going to get worse from here."

Abby put her hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. Marcus threw a sideways glance at it.

"And Jaha. I have no idea what these chips are or how they work but they spell trouble."

"Raven took one."

"I won't say I blame her," Marcus sighed. "It's been so difficult for her."

“I have never seen her like that,” Abby began. “After the inexplicable disappearance of her pain she seems almost too serene. She is not acting like herself. It felt almost as she was not talking only to me when were alone.”

One unruly strand of hair kept falling on her forehead while she spoke. Marcus had an irresistible urge to brush it back behind her ear. Moonshine was truly making his inhibitions crumble dangerously fast. Marcus forced his eyes to turn away from Abby.

“That’s what I noticed about Jaha too. His demeanor has always been controlled, but now he has a whole new level of calmness about him that makes me uncomfortable. Almost like... he's less human.

“He didn’t remember his son.”

“What?”

“It’s true. When I mentioned Wells Thelonious didn’t seem to remember him. I fear we have something truly dangerous in our hands.”

Marcus sighed. “I should have never let him leave. His mission caused a long list of casualties. And now who knows what more side effects those chips bring.”

“This is not your fault, Marcus”

“Yes it is,” he said, fiddling with the almost-empty mug in his hands. “Everything this far has been my fault. Charles becoming the chancellor. Bellamy losing his way. The peace between Grounders evaporating. Everywhere I look all my hard work is falling into pieces and I— I just can’t fix it.”

Abby cradled Marcus’s face. “We’ll fix it. Together, as always.”

Marcus instinctively leaned into her touch. "I'll try my best. I have to," Marcus breathed.

"As long as it's not anything reckless."

Marcus fell silent. "Marcus."

Abby brought her other hand to cup his cheek. "Look at me, Marcus. Promise me that you won't do anything stupid. Charles has become dangerous."

He managed a weak, sorrowful smile. "Abby I—"

"Don't." Abby said and pressed herself closer to him. They only had a few inches between each other and Marcus feel his throat tightening.

"In the big picture, I'm expendable," he croaked.

"Oh Marcus," Abby signed. "Don't you have any idea how important you are—?" She closed her mouth abruptly, holding something back.

Their noses bumped against each other. She was so close Marcus could feel her breath fluttering against his skin and her bare legs pressing against him. She was almost at his lap. Being so absurdly close to her was making him a little bit dizzy. Maybe it was the intoxicating proximity, the moonshine in his system or the depressing situation they were in but he suddenly felt the need to come clean, right now.

"Abby, I'm in l—"

But then his downward cast eyes caught the glimmer of a metal, partly hidden underneath her shirt. 

_Her necklace. She won't take it off even for the night._

And it finally hits him how wrong it was. To hold her like this in the dark of the night. To say to those words. As if he had the _right_.

He wrenched himself away from Abby and sprang up onto his feet.

"Marcus?" Abby was blinking wildly. Then she clutched the ring hanging from her neck, her eyes widening.

"This isn’t right," Marcus said, rubbing his temples. "It's so late and I've had too much to drink. I need to go before I cross a line."

"Marcus, wait—" But he had already dashed out of the door. His brain congratulated him. One more step away from greediness and self-interest. Maybe if he would take enough of them he would eventually deserve to survive.

He was going to go to his room, lock the door so he wouldn't be tempted again and stay there. He should be grateful just for her friendship. Marching in that empty hallway Marcus made a decision. No more careful examinations of every single thing she says or does to him, no more daydreaming about what-ifs. All his focus was going to be directed on his people from now on.

Then he heard fast-paced footsteps behind him. "Marcus!" a feminine voice called out.

He quickened his pace. _Why won't she let me go lick my wounds in peace?_

"Marcus," Abby panted when she finally caught up with him, spinning around to face him.

Marcus stopped, lifting his head up and changing his position into a rigid, soldier's one. He braced himself for the harsh rejection of Abby who had undoubtedly now realized why he had come. 

But instead Abby rose onto her toes and grabbed Marcus's face with both of her hands. "You're a good man, Marcus. And I won't let you think you're anything but."

Abby pressed a feather light kiss on the same spot as earlier that day. Then she moved to the next cheek. Marcus closed his eyes, not quite finding the strength within himself to try and escape from the soft pressure of her lips on his skin. "You shouldn't do that,” Marcus sighed when Abby's lips landed dangerously close to the corner of his mouth.

Abby lifted her head, frowning. "And why is that?"

"When you touch me like that... I can't— I can't help but get my hopes up."

Abby's jaw dropped in realization.

Marcus bowed his head in shame.

"I should go," he said, defeated. He gently grabbed Abby's hands, lowering them away from his face. He turned his head, whole-mindedly determined to march back into his room and forget anything had ever happened. But Abby wouldn't have that.

"Oh you daft man."

Next, Marcus found himself trapped by Abby's arms that had fallen around his neck. He managed to only blink in surprise before her warm mouth crashed into his.

For a second he didn't know how to react. The chain of events seemed rather unreal. But Abby's lips were soft and welcoming so he yielded. He twined his hands around her petite body, pulling her in a tight embrace.

After a marvelous eternity Abby slowly pulled off. He was left dazed and confused.

Abby was smiling the most tender of smiles. “Do you need more?”

“What?”

“Hope,” Abby said, "I tried to be as clear as possible. But that wasn't enough, I see now. Maybe I should've just pushed you onto that bench back in medical and kissed you senseless to leave no confusion."

Marcus couldn't quite believe her words at first. But when he saw her eyes filled with mirth and sincerity, a bubble of joy swelled inside his chest. He could feel the biggest smile starting to consume his face.

"What I'm trying to say—" Abby started, suddenly shy.

Marcus smiled and leaned in, whispering the words left unsaid in her ear. He heard how she let out a content breath when he finished.

"I feel the same way." She said, smiling. "I have for a while."

"That's good to hear," He grinned, trying to hide the fact that his heart might leap out from his chest any given second.

He put on a more serious expression. “I never dared to dream—” He started.

“Hush now. Just kiss me again.” And so he did.

Now when all his doubts and restrictions were gone he could wholly take her in. He fused his lips with hers in a fiery passion. She clasped her arms around his neck and he wrapped her close to him, locking her in his arms to prevent her legs from giving up underneath her.

Her lips parted just a hint. Marcus happily accepted the invitation and deepened the kiss, drawing a small moan from her mouth. The feel of her tongue was enough to set his whole body on fire. Her hands moved to tangle in his hair. This resulted in a low growl escaping from Marcus’s throat. Something inside him snapped and suddenly he had Abby pressed against the wall of the corridor, assaulting her with his frantic, desperate kisses. She tasted like heavens and he couldn't get enough.

His hand developed a mind of its own and started drifting downwards to the line where the thin material of her shirt ended. But a creak woke them both up from their trance. They broke apart with a loud smack and swung their heads to the direction of the noise.

A young boy was staring at them round-eyed behind the corner. _It’s the same spy from earlier_ , Marcus realized.

"What are you waiting for? Go and report to your Chancellor," Abby snapped and sent the boy running. His loud stumbling was almost comical to watch.

Marcus took a look at the woman in his arms. A crimson flush colored her cheeks and she could hardly catch her breath. He imagined he had to look rather disheveled too. And then a giggle escaped from her. At first she tried to stifle it but when the laughter started bubbling in his chest too they both erupted in a loud guffaw.

"Perhaps I should run after that boy before Pike gets to know my _illicit_ activities." Marcus joked, wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes.

"I'm sure he wouldn't be too surprised," Abby said.

Marcus looked at her questioningly.

"He already barked at me after the election that the dignity of the Chancellor's position has now been restored. He said that a lovesick couple co-ruling must have been dark times for all the Arkadia residents."

"I hope it wasn't that obvious," Marcus furrowed his brow.

Abby laughed, cupped his jaw and pressed a lingering kiss on his mouth.

"What was that?" Marcus asked, smiling drowsily against Abby's lips.

"Are you going to say that every time?" Abby smirked.

"Yep."

Marcus closed his eyes, enjoying this quiet, happy moment just for a little while longer.

"When was the last time you slept?" Abby asked, scrunching her forehead slightly. She had just now noticed his weariness.

Marcus found it better not to answer.

Abby groaned. "Get your ass back to bed, Marcus."

"Hmmm." Marcus hummed and leaned in to capture Abby's lips for one last time. He took her small frame tightly back into his arms. The woman absolutely melted into his embrace.

 _I could get used to this_ , he thought.

They slowly parted. 

"We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow," Abby said and laid her hand on his cheek, her voice taking a more serious tone this time. They were still in the middle of chaos. This night was just the peaceful eye of the hurricane. 

"I’ll walk you to your room,” Marcus said, not quite ready to let the woman in his arms go.

“If you do that, I’m afraid we wouldn’t get much sleep at all,” Abby grinned. The implication didn’t escape him.

Abby tried to extract her hand slowly from his cheek but Marcus gently grabbed it, bringing it to his lips. He planted a kiss on her knuckles, never breaking the eye contact.

“Until next time then,” he said, his voice heavy with meaning. “Good night, Abby."

“Good night, Marcus,” she croaked, little bewildered by his new-found confidence.

She started slowly retreating. He reached out his hand so they could wait until the very last minute before his fingers would slip from hers. Marcus hoped Pike’s minion was long gone. It would be embarrassing for them all if he had witnessed the way he and Abby had regressed into blushing teenagers who could hardly release the hold of each other’s hand.

When Abby eventually let go with an apologetic smile and disappeared behind the corner, his shoulders slumped. All the exhaustion crashed down to him immediately in Abby’s absence. He quietly found his way back to his quarters, wearing a tired but broad smile.

When he was in, he glanced at his bed, but sat instead at his table. Filled with the most powerful of motivators, he set out to draft a plan to stop Pike.


End file.
